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 failing to meet minds with a mate, not wanting to
 Corneph insisting, pulling him into the suffocation of the full quarm
 flight
 disaster, and a peculiar alien, a human, a worthy creature but prone to
excitability
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STAR RIGGER S WAY by Jeffrey Carver
& remembering further&
 first love with a woman who left on a ship and never returned, and was never
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a friend
 humiliation outside the rigger community, longings unfulfilled within
 friendship with Janofer, and then Skan and Legroeder, and flying
Lady
Brillig

 loss
 a long and uncertain quest to regain a security never possessed
& memories flickering up as though in an invisible cyclone; but he could see
where they were going, flying in a great golden stream of lost secrets to the
glassfish. Impulsively he stepped with a part of his mind into the eye of the
cyclone and leaped with one of the memories with
Lady
Brillig
 and rode it in an arc across space to the glassfish.
And he entered the glassfish s mind.
The gestalt of all their minds. They call themselves
Mu-Laan
, he discovered.
He saw the Mu-Laan inspecting this small creature which dared, with smaller
creatures inside it, to enter their realm, their dream-turbulent home in the
world of ever-shifting realities. It was a peculiar realm, this world of the
Mu-Laan. The gestalt was of more than the three; there were other minds at
work, linking and joining and crossing over incredible distances, meaningless
distances to form the merged identity, the gestalt.
Distance meant nothing; it was an artifact of a limited mind.
He huddled, terrified of losing himself in the gestalt. But he peered out
through the mind of the Mu-Laan, and he saw over fabulous distances, scenes as
far away as the other galaxies, as near as the internal organs of the
glassfish. He viewed through other eyes, he touched other riggers, human and
otherwise; he glimpsed creatures which dwelled in the glassfish universe, in
the Flux.
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STAR RIGGER S WAY by Jeffrey Carver
Perhaps he could focus: he glimpsed the Hurricane Flume through the eyes of a
rigger passing in a ship. No memory this it was a vision different from his, a
vision of another being. And here: the Wall of the
Barrier Nebula, from outside, and just at the edge of the Flux. A rigger
somewhere in Golen space, diving deeper. Thoughts and feelings of riggers
fluttered across his senses. The touch of a pirate ship, a raider
and the paranoia and fear of the riggers who drove her. Legroeder! Had he
touched Legroeder? The sense fluttered away before he could isolate it from
the blur.
But he understood now what had happened to Legroeder; he had caught that in
the flurry. Legroeder had been captured and impressed by the raiders, as he
had guessed. And, he felt sadly, Legroeder would never be seen free and alive
again by his old friends. He was sure of the fact, though he did not know how
he knew.
The pain made his resolve waver, and for a moment he was aware of his own
frailty here; he was split in two minds, and he looked out of
Spillix at the glassfish even as he looked out of the Mu-Laan mind at the Flux
universe.
But if he could see so far and so clearly
 could he touch Janofer and Skan in the nets of their ships?
Mind whirling, he squinted and focused.
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Stratified mists. Janofer looked at him curiously across the lightyears, the
meaningless lightyears which did not even exist in the Flux. She looked at him
but did not see him. She flew in the net of a ship where? in Golen space,
flying speedily back toward protected territory. His astonishment was so great
that it erupted joyfully out of his breast and echoed across the distances.
And at the sound of joy ringing through space, Janofer widened her eyes; and
she saw him and cried out in recognition.
Hope and amazement and bewilderment and loving desperation reverberated
through the void between them. A part of the feeling was his and a part of it
Janofer s, and he felt himself joined to her by tears and wordless emotions.
Janofer! How could he call to her, speak to her?
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STAR RIGGER S WAY by Jeffrey Carver
Janofer! Was it possible, after searching for so long?
She tossed her head against space. Her eyes gazed at him with delight and
wonder, through the shimmering reality of the Mu-Laan vision. How could he
know that she was real? He had spoken and flown with so many
Janofers, so very many of her. Janofers who were constructs of memory and
fantasy, Janofers who had touched him and cared for him and tried to help him
love another, Janofers who had saved him in the net. Janofers who had vanished
when his fantasy-sequences had ended.
There should be a difference.
The Mu-Laan consciousness grew restless around him. But the glassfish seemed
gruffly interested in the mental knot he was struggling with and so far they
were refraining from aggression. (But Cephean, the part of him still on
Spillix saw, was stirring with belligerent outrage.)
Janofer, what should I do?
he cried out in desperation. And he wondered why he had cried out so.
Gev

it s you!
Yes! Janofer!
How are you reaching me? [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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