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what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven t. 5. Kill negative thoughts. Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it s so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you re doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to 69 say, This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV. Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. ( C mon, I can do this! Only one mile left! ) Know yourself and you will win all battles. - Sun Tzu 6. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they re real limitations or just ones you ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence. 7. Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You ll soon start to notice a difference. 8. Be kind and generous. Oh, so corny. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act in accordance with the Golden Rule, and you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me. One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation. - Arthur Ashe 9. Get prepared. It s hard to be confident in yourself if you don t think you ll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven t studied, you won t have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied your butt off, you re prepared, and you ll be much more confident. Now think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself. 10. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live the Golden Rule (and fail often). This is my key principle, and I try to live my life in accordance with it. I have others, but they are mostly in some way related to this rule (the major exception being to Live my Passion ). Think about your principles ... you might have them but perhaps you haven t given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if 70 you just believe in them but don t act on them. 11. Speak slowly. Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you don t feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident. Of course, don t take it to an extreme, but just don t sound rushed either. 12. Stand tall. I have horrible posture, so it will sound hypocritical for me to give this advice, but I know it works because I try it often. When I remind myself to stand tall and straight, I feel better about myself. I imagine that a rope is pulling the top of my head toward the sky, and the rest of my body straightens accordingly. As an aside, people who stand tall and confident are more attractive. That s a good thing any day, in my book. 13. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don t try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you ll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and the practice will increase your competence. 14. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you ll be at it, and the better you ll feel. Soon you ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too. 15. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you ve accomplished it, you ll feel like a million bucks. 16. Focus on solutions. If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. I m fat and lazy! So how can you solve that? But I can t motivate myself! So how can you solve that? But I have no energy! So what s the solution? 17. Smile. Another trite one. But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of your time and energy. 18. Volunteer. Related to the be kind and generous item above, but more specific. It s the [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |