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file:///F|/rah/Frederik%20Pohl/Pohl,%20Frederik%20-%20Heechee%201%20-%20Gateway.txt (106 of 109) [1/15/03 6:31:21 PM] file:///F|/rah/Frederik%20Pohl/Pohl,%20Frederik%20-%20Heechee%201%20-%20Gateway.txt this object. 2. By decision of the Board, you are granted a discovery royalty of 1 percent on all earnings on future flights using said course setting, and an advance of $10,000 against said royalty. 3. By decision of the Board, you are assessed one-half of said royalty and advance as a penalty for damage to the vessel employed. Your account is therefore CREDITED with the following amount: Royalty advance (Board Order A-135-7), less deduction (Board Order A-135-8): $5,000 Your present BALANCE is: $6,192 ---------------------------------------- "Has anyone ever accused you of that? Anyone but yourself, I mean?" "Accused?" I blow my nose again, thinking. "Well, no. Why should they? When I got back I was kind of a hero." I think about Shicky, so kind, so mothering; and Francy Hereira holding me in his arms, letting me bawl, even though I'd killed his cousin. "But they weren't there. They didn't see me blow the tanks to get free." "Did you blow the tanks?" "Oh, hell, Sigfrid," I say, "I don't know. I was going to. I was reaching for the button." "Does it make sense that the button in the ship you were planning to abandon would actually fire the combined tanks in the landers?" "Why not? I don't know. Anyway," I say, "you can't give me any alibis I haven't already thought of for myself. I know maybe Danny or Klara pushed the button before I did. But I was reaching for mine!" "And which ship did you think would go free?" "Theirs! Mine," I correct myself. "No, I don't know." Sigfrid says gravely, "Actually, that was a very resourceful thing you did. You knew you couldn't all have survived. There wasn't time. The only choice was whether some of you would die, or all of you would. You elected to see that somebody lived." "Crap! I'm a murderer!" Pause, while Sigfrid's circuits think that over. "Rob," he says carefully, "I think you're contradicting yourself. Didn't you say she's still alive in that discontinuity?" "They all are! Time has stopped for them!" "Then how could you have murdered anybody?" "What?" He says again, "How could you have murdered anybody?" ". . . I don't know," I say, "but, honestly, Sigfrid, I really don't want to think about it anymore today." "There's no reason you should, Rob. I wonder if you have any idea how much you've accomplished in the past two and a half hours. I'm proud of you!" And queerly, incongruously, I believe he is, chips, Heechee circuits, holograms and all, and it makes me feel good to believe it. "You can go any time you want to," he says, getting up and going back to his easy chair in the most lifelike way possible, even grinning at me! "But I think I would like to show you something first." My defenses are eroded down to nothing. I only say, "What's that, Sigfrid?" "That other capability of ours that I mentioned, Rob," he "the one that we've never used. I would like to display another patient, from some time back." "Another patient?" He says gently, "Look over in the corner, Rob." I look-- --and there she is. "Klara!" And as soon as I see her I know where Sigfrid gets her from -- the machine Klara was consulting back on Gateway. She is hanging there, one arm across a file rack, her feet lazily floating in the air, talking earnestly; her broad black eyebrows frown and sigh and her face grins, and grimaces, and then looks sweetly, invitingly relaxed. "You can hear what she's saying if you want to, Rob." "Do I want to?" "Not necessarily. But there's nothing in it to be afraid of. She loved you, Rob, the best file:///F|/rah/Frederik%20Pohl/Pohl,%20Frederik%20-%20Heechee%201%20-%20Gateway.txt (107 of 109) [1/15/03 6:31:21 PM] file:///F|/rah/Frederik%20Pohl/Pohl,%20Frederik%20-%20Heechee%201%20-%20Gateway.txt way she knew how. The same as you loved her." I look for a long time, and then I say, "Turn her off, Sigfrid. Please." In the recovery room I almost fall asleep for a moment. I have never been so relaxed. I wash my face, and smoke another cigarette, and then I go out into the bright diffuse daylight under the Bubble, and it all is so good and so friendly. I think of Klara with love and tenderness and in my heart I say good-bye to her. And then I think of S. Ya. with whom I have a date for that evening -- if I'm not already late for it! But she'll wait; she's a good scout, almost as good as Klara. Klara. I stop in the middle of the mall, and people bump up against me. A little old lady in short-shorts toddles over to me and asks, "Is something wrong?" I stare at her, and don't answer; and then I turn around and head back for Sigfrid's office. There is no one there, not even a hologram. I yell, "Sigfrid! Where the hell are you?" ---------------------------------------- NOTICE OF CREDIT To ROBINETTE BROADHEAD: Your account is CREDITED with the following amounts: Guaranteed bonus for Mission 88-90A and 88-90B (survivorship total): $10,000,000 Science bonus awarded by Board: 8,500,000 Total: [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |