[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
with all of the people on this ship. I've always thought Captain Dirk was a famous hero. But here he's planning to do terrible things to innocent people on some planet we are coming to." "Most unusual, I guess. Since I have never heard of him before I will just have to take your word for it. How do you account for it?" "I don't know," Bill said. "When I asked him, he said he wasn't Dirk at all. He was Counter-Dirk." "What did that mean?" "I haven't the slightest idea." "Perhaps I should ask the Quintiform computer." Bill looked interested. "You can do that?" file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Har...0-%20The%20Planet%20of%20Bottl ed%20Brains.htm (39 of 122) [10/16/2004 2:56:55 PM] Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Bottled Brains "Oh, yes, I told you the computer wanted to help you. It has maintained a link with me. I'll ask it now." The little green lizard who was Illyria curled up into a ball from which only its snout and eyes peeked out. Its eyes half-closed, its jaws relaxed, its paws exhibited waxy flexibility. "Hey, Illyria," Bill said. "Are you OK?" "She's fine," the lizard said. "This is the Quintiform computer speaking now. Bill, I want to apologize. I was just playing with you, sort of. I'd really like you to come back." "I didn't really enjoy being part of your mind," Bill said. "No offense, but I just like being me." "I suppose that's understandable," the computer said. "And you are right, your brain is much too valuable to go to waste." "My brain?" "Yes. It has two lobes." "Oh," said Bill. "I think I remember that a lot of human brains are built that way." "Do you know what that means?" "I don't think so." "It means that your brain is capable of becoming as powerful as a computer all by itself, without having to be part of me." "Oh," Bill said. He thought about it for a moment. "That's great." "You see, the computer really has your best interests at heart." "That's nice," Bill said. "But you were going to tell me what 'counter' means." "In this context," the computer said, speaking through Illyria who was Page 40 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html inhabiting the body of a Chinger lizard, which is a pretty exotic telephone connection when you get down to it, "it means that there are two Captain Dirks, the real one and the counter one. You were right about Captain Dirk acting strangely in terms of your usual civilized norms. The man commanding this ship is not the real Captain Dirk, just as this ship is not the real Gumption ." "This is getting a little complicated," Bill said, frowning in concentration. "If this is the Counter-Captain Dirk, where is the real Captain Dirk?" "I knew you'd ask me that," the computer said, "and so I got the information from the computer which runs this ship." "The counter-computer, you mean," Bill said. "Yes, exactly. Oh my dear fellow, you must come back to Tsuris with me. It's such a pleasure talking with someone who understands." "We'll discuss that later," Bill said, sensing that he was in a position of power, though for the life of him he couldn't figure out how or why. "Meanwhile, I'd like to know where the real Captain Dirk is." "This will amaze you," the computer said. "Don't worry. At this point I'm amaze-proof." "Captain Dirk is at present in the ancient Rome of the long-lost planet Earth. The year is approximately 45 BC." "You're right," Bill said. "That amazes me." "I thought it might," the Quintiform computer chuckled, sounding more than a little pleased with itself. "What else did the ship's computer tell you?" "It also told me why Dirk was there, and how his being there had been the cause of the Counter-Dirk appearing here." "Told you all that, did it? Obliging little box of transistors, wasn't it?" file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Har...0-%20The%20Planet%20of%20Bottl ed%20Brains.htm (40 of 122) [10/16/2004 2:56:55 PM] Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Bottled Brains "We computers are all brothers," the Quintiform computer said. "Pure intelligence knows no skin color." "Don't rub it in," Bill said. "Why is Captain Dirk in ancient Rome?" "He has an important task to perform there." "Obviously. But what is it?" The Quintiform computer sighed. "I know there's a great deal you don't know. But really, we must hurry along. I'm not trying to rush you for my sake. I've got plenty of time. This sort of conversation requires only a tiny part of my brainpower. The rest of me is back in the computer doing all the stuff I usually do to keep the planet functioning. But I know from what the ship's computer told me that as soon as Dirk and his men get through plundering and pillaging the new planet they've just found, they are going to turn to you and do whatever they have to do to get the secret of the displacing effect from you. Since you don't know the secret, it's going to be a little tough on you. But don't let me rush you." There was a long silence. For a while Bill thought the computer had broken off contact with him out of pique. The Chinger lizard just lay there, its eyes closed, looking more dead than alive. It was impossible to say where Illyria was. And he, Bill, was in a lot of trouble. "Computer?" Bill said after a while. "Yes, Bill?" "Don't get sore at me, OK?" "I am a computer," the computer said. "I do not get angry at people or things." Page 41 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html "You sure give a good imitation of it." "Simulation is part of the job. Look, to explain properly about why Dirk is in ancient Rome I'll have to tell you the story of the Alien Historian. It's just that I don't think we have time for it right now." Bill could hear the heavy, threatening, stomach-turning, end of hobnailed boots marching down the corridor outside his cell. There was a clashing sound as of weapons being grounded sharply. Then the grating sound of a key in his door. "Please, Computer, get me out of here!" "Hang on, then," the computer said. "This may be a little difficult on you, I mean. It's a technique I [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |